1. Where do I need to love myself more?
2. What is it that I’m here to learn?
3. What is it that I believe about myself that this situation is showing me?
4. What can I do about it?
(Author Tracy McMillan on Oprah Super Soul Sunday)
Beautiful Bengal Cat Suki Adds Magic With Her Dazzling Sea Blue Eyes Against Nature
I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie
1. Get up 15 minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.
2. Prepare for the morning the evening before. Set the breakfast table, make lunches, put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.
3. Don’t rely on your memory. Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when Library books are due, etc. (“The palest ink is better than the most retentive memory.” - Old Chinese proverb)
4. Do nothing which, after being done, leads you to tell a lie.
5. Make duplicates of all keys. Bury a house key in a secret spot in the garden and carry a duplicate car key in your wallet, apart from your key key ring.
6. Practice preventive maintenance. Your car, appliances, home, and relationships will be less likely to break down/fall apart “at the worst possible moment.”
7. Be prepared to wait. A paperback can make a wait in a post office line almost pleasant.
8. Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.
9. Plan a head. Don’t let the gas tank get below one-quarter full; keep a well stocked “emergency shelf” of home staples, don’t wait until you’re down to your last bus token or postage stamp to buy more.
10. Don’t put up with something that doesn’t work right. If your alarm clock, wallet, shoelaces, windshield wipers – whatever – are a constant aggravation, get themfixed or get new ones.
11. Allow 15 minutes of extra time to get to appointments. Plan to arrive in an airport one hour before domestic departures.
12. Eliminate (or restrict) the amount of caffeine in your diet.
13. Always set up contingency plans, “just in case.” (“If for some reason either of us is delayed, here’s what we’ll do…” Kind of thing. Or, “If we split up in the shopping center, here’s where we’ll meet.”
14. Relax your standards. The world will not and if the grass doesn’t get mowed this weekend.
15. Pollyanna-power! For every one thing that goes wrong, there are probably 10 or 50 or 100 blessings. Count ‘em!
16. Ask questions. Taking a few moments to repeat back directions, what someone expects of you, etc., Can save hours. (The old the “hurrieder I go, the behind her I get it,” idea.)
17. Say “No!” Saying “no” to extra projects, social activities, and invitations you know you don’t have the time or energy for takes practice, so respect, and believe that everyone, every day, needs quiet time to relax and be alone.
18. Unplug your phone. Want to take a long bath, meditate, sleep or read without interruption? Drum up the courage to temporarily disconnect. (The possibility of there being a terrible emergency in the next hour or so is almost nil.) Or use an answering machine.
19. Turn needs into preferences. Our basic physical needs translate into food, water, and keeping warm. Everything else is a preference. Don’t get attached to preferences.
20. Simplify, simplify, simplify…
21. Make friends with nonworriers. Nothing can get you into the habit of worrying faster than associating with chronic worrywarts.
22. Get up and stretch periodically if your job requires that you sit for extended periods.
23. Wear earplugs. If you need to find quiet at home, pop in some earplugs.
24. Get enough sleep. If necessary, use an alarm clock to remind you to go to bed.
25. Create order out of chaos. Organize your home and work space so that you always know exactly where things are. Put things away where they belong and you won’t have to worry through the stress of losing things.
26. When feeling stressed, most people tend to breathe in short, shallow breaths. When you breathe like this, stale air is not expelled, oxidation of the tissues is incomplete, and muscle tension frequently results. Check your breathing throughout the day, and before, during, and after high-pressure situations. If you find your stomach muscles are knotted and your breathing is shallow, relax all your muscles and take several deep slow, breaths. Note how, when you’re relaxed, both your abdomen and chat expand when you breathe.
27. Writing your thoughts and feelings down (in a journal, or on paper to be thrown away) can help you clarify things and can give you a renewed perspective.
28. Try the following yoga technique whenever you feel the need to relax. Inhale deeply through your nose to come to the count of eight. Then, with lips puckered, exhale very smoothly through your mouth to the count of 16, or for as long as you can. Concentrate on the long sighing sound and feel the tension dissolve. Repeat 10 times.
29. Innoculate yourself against a feared event. Example before speaking in public take time to go over every part of the experience in your mind. Imagine what you’ll wear, what the audience will look like, how you will present your talk, what the questions will be and how you will answer them, etc. Visualize the experience the way you would have it be. You will likely find that when the time comes to make the actual presentation, it will be “old hat” and much of your anxiety will have fled.
30. When the stress of having to get a job done gets in the way of getting the job done, diversion – a voluntary change in activity and/or environment – may be just what you need.
31. Talk it out. Discussing your problems with a trusted friend can help clear your mind of confusion so you can concentrate on problem solving.
32. Put yourself in a comfortable environment in your personal life. If you hate to talk politics, don’t associate with people who love to talk politics.
33. Learn to live one day at a time.
34. Every day, do something you really enjoy.
35. Add an ounce of love to everything you do.
36. Take a hot bath or shower (or a cool one in summertime) to relieve tension.
37. Do something for somebody else.
38. Focus on understanding rather than on being understood; on loving rather than being loved.
39. Do something that will improve your appearance. Looking better can help you feel better.
40. Schedule a realistic day. Avoid the tendency to schedule back-to-back appointments; allow time between appointments for a breathing spell.
41. Become more flexible. Some things are worth not doing perfectly and some issues are well to compromise upon.
42. Eliminate destructive self-talk “I’m too old to..”, I’m too fat too..“, etc.
43. Use your weekend time for a change of pace. If your work week is slow and patterned, make sure there is action and time for spontaneity built into your weekends. If your work week is fast-paced and full of people and deadlines, seek peace and solitude during your days off. Feel as if you aren’t accomplishing anything at work? Tackle a job on the weekend you can finish with satisfaction.
44. "Worry about the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves.” That’s another way of saying: take care of the todays as best you can and the yesterdays and the tomorrows will take care of themselves.
45. Do one thing at a time. When you are with someone, be with that person and with no one or nothing else. When you were busy with a project, concentrate on doing that project and forget about everything else you have to do.
46. Allow yourself time – every day – for privacy, quiet, and introspection.
47. If an especially unpleasant task faces you, do it early in the day and get it over with; then the rest of your day will be free of anxiety.
48. Learn to delegate responsibility to capable others.
49. Don’t forget to take a lunch break. Try to get away from your desk or work area in body and mind, even if it’s just for 15 or 20 minutes.
50. Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000 before doing something or saying anything that could make matters worse.
51. Have a forgiving view of events and people. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world.
52. Have an optimistic view of the world. Believe that most people are doing the best they can.“
- National Headache Foundation
“I always wanted to be a mental health therapist. Ever since high school, I’ve enjoyed encouraging people and giving them hope. But I lost my way. I got caught in a world of addiction. I lost ten years of my life to drugs. I stopped when I became pregnant with my child, but by that time it was too late to go back to school. I started working as an office manager. I never completely lost my dream. But I just put it on a shelf for thirty years. Then five years ago I to…ok it off the shelf. I heard a lady in my choir talking about how she enrolled in community college. I drove there the very next day. I was so nervous when I filled out the application. I was so nervous the first day of class. All the old voices were telling me: ‘You never finish anything.’ But I said ‘fuck you’ to the old voices. And I started getting A’s. On my first test, I got the only perfect score in the class. I graduated at the age of 50. I got my Masters at 55. And just last night I completed a mental health first aid course. I’m so close now. There’s still fear there. I used to be afraid of it never happening. Now I’m afraid of it happening. The old voices try to come back sometimes. They tell me: ‘You can rest,’ or ‘You’ve earned a break.’ But I’m not stopping this time. Somebody out there is waiting for me to finish because they need my help.“
